No Knead Bread: Round 1

Original recipe:
No Knead Bread Recipe is adapted from Mark Bittman of NY Times who got it from Sullivan Street Bakery. When the recipe first came out, it was the blogging community who took the bread to new heights, especially Rose Levy Beranbaum, author of The Bread Bible. I followed Rose’s experiments through the weeks and learned from her recipe adjustments and the why’s of how this bread works.

ingredients:
3 cups bread flour (I like Harvest King bread flour)
1/4 teaspoon instant yeast
1 teaspoon fine table salt (or 3/4 tablespoon of kosher salt)
1 1/2 cups warm waterCovered pot (five-quart or larger cast iron, Pyrex, ceramic, enamel…something that can go into a 450F oven.)
directions:
1. Mix dough: The night before, combine all ingredients in a big bowl with a wooden spoon until the dough just comes together. It will be a shaggy, doughy mess. Cover with plastic wrap and let sit 12-20 hours on countertop.

2. Shape & preheat: The dough will now be wet, sticky and bubbly. With a wet spatula, dump the dough on a floured surface. Fold ends of dough over a few times with the spatula and nudge it into a ball shape. You can use your hands if you like, just keep your hands wet so that the dough does not stick. Place a large sheet of parchment paper on counter. Plop your dough onto parchment paper. Lift parchment paper up with dough and place into a large bowl. Cover bowl with a towel. Let it nap for 2 hours. When you’ve got about a half hour left, slip your covered pot into the oven and preheat to 450F.

3. Bake: Your dough should have doubled in size. Remove pot from oven. Grab the ends of the parchment paper and lift entire wobbly dough blob out of bowl into pot. Doesn’t matter which way it lands. Shake to even dough out. Cover. Bake 30 minutes. Uncover, bake another 15-20 minutes or until the crust is beautifully golden and middle of loaf is 210F. Remove and let cool on wired rack. If not eating right away, you can re-crisp crust in 350F oven for 10 minutes. Best way to eat it? Smear a warm slice with some good butter (Kerrygold and Lurpac are both found in your grocery stores, usually on top shelf)
found: http://www.steamykitchen.com/168-no-knead-bread-revisited.html

The recipe calls for 1/4 teaspoon instant yeast and all I had on hand was:

I’m pretty sure that’s responsible for the spectacular lack of rise during the overnight and nap times. ::shrug:: lesson learned.

Hemp Seed Banana Bread Recipe

Hemp Seed Banana Bread Recipe
Ingredients
1/2 Cup Hippie Butter Hemp Seed Oil
1/2 Cup honey
1 beaten egg
2 mashed bananas
1 1/2 cups unbleached white flour
1/2 cup Hippie Butter Hemp Seed Flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
3/4 Cup Hippie Butter Hulled Hemp Seeds
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Preparation Steps
Cream together the oil and sweetener. Combine the eggs and banana, and blend into the sweet mixture. Sift together the flour, salt and baking powder. Add the Hemp Nuggets and vanilla and mix well. Bake at 350° F. for 1 to 11/4 hours until a toothpick comes out clean.

Hemp Seed Nugget Oatmeal Cookies

Hemp Seed Nugget Oatmeal Cookies
Ingredients
1 Cup firmly packed Brown Sugar
1 Egg
1/2 Cup Hippie Butter Hemp Seed Oil or Canola Oil
1/2 Cup Unsweetened Applesauce
1 Teaspoon Vanilla
3/4 Cup Hippie Butter Hemp Flour or Whole Wheat Flour
1/2 Cup all-purpose flour
1 Teaspoon Baking Soda
1/2 Teaspoon Salt
2 Cups Quaker Oats (quick or old fashioned, uncooked)
1/4 – 1/2 Cup Hippie Butter Hulled Hemp Seeds

Preparation Steps
Heat oven to 350ºF. In large bowl, beat brown sugar, egg, Hemp Seed oil, applesauce and vanilla on medium speed of electric mixer until combined. Add combined flours, baking soda and salt; beat on low speed just until blended. Stir in oats and Hemp Seed Nuggets.
Drop dough by level measuring tablespoonfuls about 2 inches apart onto ungreased cookie sheets.
Bake 9 to 10 minutes, until light brown. (Do not overbake. Centers will appear soft.) Cool 1 to 2 minutes on cookie sheets; transfer to wire racks. Cool completely. Store tightly covered.

Preparation Time: 20 Minutes
Cook Time: 9 Minutes
Time to Table: 29 Minutes
Recipe Yield: About 36 Cookies

Lime Hemp Hummus

Limey Hemp Hummus

Ingredients:
2 cups chickpeas, canned or home cooked, drained and rinsed
2 tall tablespoons hemp butter
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 cloves garlic
the juice from one lime
water to thin, as needed
s+p, to taste

Instructions:
Combine all ingredients in the food processor and blend until smooth. Eat!

From: http://bonzaiaphrodite.com/2010/10/i-heart-hemp-a-testimony-and-a-recipe/

a letter. and my reply.

Hi!
So I wanted to take this conversation private, the whole world doesn’t need to know our business.

First question – are you gay now? I don’t know why I even want to know, but the last time we even spoke you had just had Lucas and were still married.

Second question – where to do go to find support for you? I have had a horrible two years, and life seems to be getting worse. My bi-polar i can literally feel coming and going, and the struggle not to thrown in the towel is an hourly battle for me. (Drugs, food, blah blah). The lack of self worth is what my root issue is.

I am sorry if this is awkward, I guess I am looking for anything positive to help at this point, and you seem to be finding ways to make life workable. No worries if you aren’t into the arm chair psychologist. You are the most unique person I know, handling shit in the most unique ways, idk, just though I would reach out while I have the guts.

__________

i have a lot of extra positive energy right now, im more than happy to share it. you’re always welcome to text also, although i’m not very prompt with my reply sometimes.

my ex-husband is a predator. our entire marriage was a sham. it looked great from the outside, but behind closed bedroom doors, he’s a rapist and i was too depressed and high on pain meds to care or stand up for myself. my boys got removed from the house by cps due to my depression and his behavior. 2 years later, cps has finally closed the case.

ive always been bi, with a preference for women but never felt like it was *ok* for me to date women to the exclusion of men. i know my picker for men is just busted, so i’ll sleep with one from time to time, but i refuse to date one or enter in to a relationship with one. i came out (or whatever) a little over a year ago, about the same time i started playing soccer again – although i dont think the 2 things are connected lol.

since then, my self confidence feels healthy. i dont obsess about what to wear on a date or worry that another single mom thinks my stretch marks are horrendous. the funny thing though… i guess my self confidence is attractive to men too, cus i get a lot more from them than i used to.

i guess thats about the same time i went back to school too. i’m in for sociology/anthropology with an emphasis on women’s rights/issues. living with a rapist made me want to know WHY some men do that, and why we, as women, tolerate it. why society tolerates it.

i still take meds for depression, ive accepted that i’ll be on something for the rest of my life because my brain chemistry has been altered by a decade of meds and life experiences, and im finally ok with that. i wish i had the magic wand for people that are suffering with mental illness, but for me it really came to being fucking sick and tired of being depressed. i mean, i was originally diagnosed in ’98 and every day i hated it, i was *tired* of it. but about half way through my 16 week program at WEAVE for domestic violence, it clicked. literally, clicked for me, in one of the sessions.

i think its because i was finally READY to heal. i think mental illness of all flavors is a mix of chemistry and experience. yes, someone can be bi-polar (or depressed etc) because their body misinterprets certain chemicals, but as soon as that starts happening physically, our actions begin to change. you know what im talking about, the mood swings or decisions we make based on our mood at the time. those actions have consequences, which influence our chemistry, which affects our mood…. its a cycle or everything is interchangeable or whatever.

but at some point, i think we either accept that we will always do “crazy” shit or we learn to recognize the crazy before it actually happens, stop ourselves and say…. “dude. youre not being rational/logical/sane. you’re being crazy” then you dont do whatever you were going to do, so the consequence doesnt have to happen, so you dont have the chemical fluctuation, etc etc etc.

i know that sounds really over simplified, but after 14 years of depression and 7 years of fibromyalgia…. something HAD to change. or i was going to die, either emotionally or physically.

xxxxxxxx, something HAS to change. if your meds dont help, MAKE your dr try different combinations. if one makes you gain weight, demand a different one. (for the life of me, i’ll never understand why they prescribe meds to women with depression that will make them gain weight). i used to be an advocate for suicide. i used to think people should have that right, to opt out. i spent a week in a coma in ’07 because i tried it, i woke up feeling lost….. then i met Mac. it took losing my kids to wake me the fuck up and decide i coudlnt live like that.

someday, something will make you put your foot down. and you’ll refuse to be ill any more. no one changes until they’re ready. until then, fake it. make it through the day. push like hell and never ever stop. surround yourself with positive people and positive energy. im not talking about anything spiritual or anything, although if religion is comforting, by all means.

my 2 best friends were every bit as toxic as my husband. they had to go. i removed all of the toxic people in my personal life, and suddenly…… there was no one dragging me down. its easier to tread water that way.

you’re welcome to ask anything, any time. i hope that you can find peace in yourself. no one else can give it to you.

~m

panic. period. anemia.

i’ve been dealing with woman drama in the workplace. a woman in a position of authority is very aggressive with her role. every time she “talks” to me it triggers a panic attack. the panic attack triggers my period. im on hormonal birth control to suppress my period right now because im severely anemic. im walking on eggshells at work, terrified that anything i do is wrong. which of course brings more anxiety.

you’re setting feminism back 20 years. good job.

to all the women that simper at, flirt with, flash, cosy up to, press your boobs against, gently lay your hand upon, giggle at, bat your eyelashes at and otherwise debase yourself to your male co-workers – i have a message.

congrats, you’re setting feminism back 20 years. i didnt work my ass of to be every bit as good as “the boys” in a male dominated field just to have you giggle and simper and knock me (and other women) back down. you give women in the workplace a bad name.

the vagina monologues

i keep forgetting to update. no shock there. i saw the vagina monologues last weekend. i had no idea what to expect. the stage was bare except for 20-25 conference style folding chairs, 3 collapsable podiums and 5 microphones on stands. the cast came to the stage single-file and sat down. they were all women, and they were dressed mostly in black, with red or pink accents. two women introduced the show, gave a brief history of it and off they went.

apparently the writer has researched and interviewed women for the last 13+ years about their “down there”. young women, old women, skinny women, fat women, you get the idea. the writer had taken the dialogues from her research, cut her own side out and crafted the interviewee’s side in to something that very closely resembled a verbal blog.

one woman, i would guess she was on the young side of 60, started with, “If you love vaginas, you must also love hair,” and went on to talk about how her husband had cheated on her because she wouldn’t shave her twat. they went to a female marriage therapist, who appallingly took HIS side.

another women spoke of being the victim of female genital mutilation in the Congo. her labia had been removed and her vagina sewn shut, except for the smallest hole possible to allow urine and menstrual fluid to pass.

yet another spoke of being in a camp in BellaRus and being assaulted repeatedly by the guards, with anything they could fit inside her. some of the stories were atrocious. some were offered with a humorous aim. through all of the stories and all of the horrendous facts that accompanied the tales i didnt flinch.

at the end, they asked for all of the survivors of domestic violence and/or sexual assault to stand up. my estimate is 1 in 5 of us were standing. i felt goosebumps raise on my arms. then they asked everyone that KNEW someone that was a survivor to join those of us already standing. i think it ended up being about 90% of us. i felt the lump at the back of my throat turn in to a grimace as i tried to hold back tears. eventually, i just let them go.

to see SO many of us, in a random sampling of people, admit and acknowledge that we were or knew victims, was overwhelming, but it felt good to know that i wasnt alone.

Quick Banana Bread with Hemp Hearts

Banana Bread Recipe
Prep time: 5 minutesCook time: 1 hour
Add to shopping list
INGREDIENTS
3 or 4 ripe bananas, smashed
1/3 cup melted butter
1 cup sugar (can easily reduce to 3/4 cup)
1 egg, beaten
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon baking soda
Pinch of salt
1 1/2 cups hemp hearts
1 1/2 cups of all-purpose flour
METHOD
No need for a mixer for this recipe. Preheat the oven to 350°F (175°C). With a wooden spoon, mix butter into the mashed bananas in a large mixing bowl. Mix in the sugar, egg, and vanilla. Sprinkle the baking soda and salt over the mixture and mix in. Add the flour & hemp hearts last, mix. Pour mixture into a buttered 4×8 inch loaf pan. Bake for 1 hour. Cool on a rack. Remove from pan and slice to serve.
Yield: Makes one loaf.

inspired by: http://simplyrecipes.com/recipes/banana_bread/

my vagina hates me.

today is the day i actually start using my blog site for something more then free parking. facebook is no longer the best place for my brain to vomit on the interwebs. now for the requisite apologies for my atrocious grammar and lack of capitalization. at some point, i may have someone edit these for your reading ease. until then, my apologies.

 

the details – it is now almost april of 2012. the last time i had sex with a man was….well… many months ago. i have found, through many years trial and error, that my pH is not compatible with everyone. we (by we i mean women) have this great friendly bacteria in our twats. i’m not entirely sure what it’s for, but it’s supposed to be a good thing. unless you end up with too much. after sex (insert PSA. do not have unprotected sex with another person unless you are in a sexually monogamous relationship and both parties have recent clean std test results.) my body decided it didn’t like my partner’s gift and the friendly bacteria threw a party.

 

killing me with kindness, so to speak. when the good bacteria throws a vaginal fiesta, you end up with Bacteria Vaginosis. no, this is not an STD. no, it’s not a yeast infection. no, it’s not contagious and your partner’s penis and/or tongue will not fall off. what it does do (caution, semi-graphic) is make your cooch smell a little on the funky side. some people equate it to stuffing a trout up there and leaving it for a few days. some women get itchy/burny/uncomfortable. some women get copious amount of thin, milky discharge – NOT the chunky cottage cheese snot-wads you see in yeast infections.

 

my point? sexy time with my last male partner gave my vagina a raging pussy-style migraine. i ignored it for a couple of days and went to my primary care dr, head held in shame and asked for the MetroGel. there is an oral anti-biotic for BV, most dr’s use cipro i think and that shit gives me full on bat shit crazy hallucinations. so i go for the gel you squish up your nonny. a few days later, my vagina was a happy girl. about 3 weeks later, it came back. so i used the gel, again. repeat, repeat, repeat. about 6 weeks ago i gave up on the metrogel idea. there HAS to be a better way to deal with this.

 

i took to the interwebs. suggestions for homeopathic remedies vary and some of them are pretty fucking out there. i saw a post on a board that read, “I like using hydrogen peroxide, full strength. it tickles, but it works.” o.O

 

another, “Apple cider vinegar is good, but dilute it or it will feel like your crotch is on fire.” wtf? my snatch and fire dont belong in the same thought. other ideas ranged from yogurt douches (there’s no fucking way i’m putting dairy products up my vag. ever.) to making your own “Tea tree oil suppositories”. granted, i didn’t realize it was called a suppository if it went in THAT hole. i always thought suppositories were strictly for back door use. hmm. you learn something new every day. BUT, knowing tea tree oil is also used in the humidifier to open your air ways when you’re sick, i was afraid to try that one.

 

i settled on the apple cider vinegar, diluted. very diluted. suggested “dosing” was 3x daily for 3-4 days, twice daily for another week and then any time symptoms creep up. it’s possible that it didn’t work for me because i dont have time to concoct science fair experiments 3 times a day. i thought about trying to do it at work. i imagined carrying around my little douche bottle with apple cider vinegar as i walk to the bathroom. “What? oh, this? yea. nothing but my salad dressing.” maybe not.

 

needless to say, twice a day didnt cut it. obviously, since i’m still bitching. tonight at wal-mart i saw a homeopathic BV treatment. $20 for the round of pussy pills. it costs more than my prescription, but for $20, if it saves me a trip to the doc, i’m all for it.